I'm still in the hospital with Luke everyday and he's pending for discharge come Wednesday. Looking back, I'm here with him for almost two weeks, but never really stepped out of the room except to fetch hot water and sterilized milk bottles.
I looked out of the window every single day, hoping he could recover instantly so we could go home and I could get back on my job. So I tried to be a even better mom by feeding and cleaning him as necessary.
Yesterday, while feeding him his oral medication, he was whining as usual at the minty taste. It never really occurred to me since the day I started feeding him medicines off syringes but this time it suddenly struck me that he seems to be crying out 'why do you have to force me to this'?
I couldn't react when this thought ran through my head, I just sat on the sofa while my husband tried to pacify him. I wanted to break down and cry.
I've lost count to the number of times my heart aches because I've to put Luke through painful stuffs which were meant to be well for him. Each and everytime was equally heart breaking...
Go away storm, you've been here long enough. I'm waiting for the rainbow.
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